I don't really have a running update right now, as I had a weekend off filled with fun and some frustration, as I was off to WhamBam 2010 at the Molson Ampitheatre in Toronto, Ontario. The concert was great, featuring artists like Oranthi, Danny Fernandez, Kardinal Offishal, Karl Wolf and the headliner, Adam Lambert.
Most of the acts were amazing live, even though I was in nosebleed seats. It was a one day trip I won from a local radio station, which I went to with my neighbour, Tammy. The radio station didn't organize it very well though, and we were late arriving, we weren't told what we could and couldn't bring in (resulting in some people losing some possessions) and worst of all, they didn't talk to the bus driver before hand, resulting in us not getting home until 5:30am on Sunday.
I had the best of intentions of getting to bed, getting up at a decent hour and seeing how I felt. Well, when I woke up, I was shocked to see it was 2pm!!! I felt very bad sleeping half way through Father's day, so I decided to postpone my scheduled 10k run and instead call my dad, and make sure my hubby had a good Father's day with a gift and card from his daughter and a homecooked meal of mini pizzas from me!
So this weekend has been one full of revelations and pondering. I have these moments where I wonder what the hell I am doing, and where to go next. I haven't gotten much response from sending out my resume, and I just know, there are really not many law positions open right now. I can't even get a law clerk or admin job, because people look at me and go, "But you have a law degree!" Yes, I might have a law degree, but I'm broke, I have no income at all, and EI is the slowest process EVER. This rat race thing is frustrating.
I am debating applying to a big firm that is SO not me, just because they have a position open and I might be considered. They are the type of firm that is all about the hours, doesn't care for the people, it's about being a business and bringing in money, dealing with big corporations rather than the little people. They do litigation defence for insurance companies, so basically the tactic is deny, deny, deny and stall, stall, stall until the person that was hurt can't afford to keep going with their lawsuit. They are essentially the bottom of the barrel lawyers. I really want to be at a small firm, somewhere that helps people when they are hurt, when they need someone in their corner to get them what they really deserve.
So what happens if I put my name in and get the job? I get to be miserable, work the longest hours ever, never see my family, and for what? Just to get a name on my resume and some "experience" which would most likely not be hands on but boring behind the scenes research. What do you do? Do you sell your soul to get ahead, or follow your heart to get what you want, even if it causes you to be broke for the interim? It's a tough situation.
Ok, I think I'm going to run off and brave the heat for a LSD of 10k. I'll be checking in soon!