This post has been a bit inspired by Mel over at Tall Mom - she had a negative incident with a photo caption, and clarified that you don't always have to look happy or have a smile on your face to love running. I think right now that point needs to stick in my head. I don't have to be competitive, I don't have to be fast, I don't have to run marathons or half marathons. I could, and I know that, but just because I choose not to doesn't mean I am not a worthy runner, and doesn't mean I don't love running the distances I choose to run from now on.
My husband proceeded to keep digging a hole with me today when he called me at work. After the run, he didn't ask what time I finished in, and to be honest, I didn't share because I was horribly ashamed of it. I should be able to run faster than I do. So many people I know, bloggers I see do halfs in 2 hours or less like it is no big thing, so when I have to say I did my second half in 2:48, it sucks.
I guess my husband took it upon himself to look up my time, then he called and jokingly called me a slacker. Which resulted in me bursting into tears at my desk, because I feel like it is true. I feel I failed, I am lacking, the result isn't impressive, and am terribly ashamed. I think upon hearing my reaction, which was crickets followed by a conversation on why that wasn't funny, he finally got it.
Still waiting on the photos, but my body is pretty much 100%. Toenails are a bit sore, but thankfully, I think none of them will turn black or fall off this time. Might try to get a run in tomorrow.
Has anyone ever made a really stupid comment to you they thought was "funny"? What did you do about it?
I'm so sorry you've had a rough go of it lately. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. You finished a half marathon! And that's a lot more than most people can say.
ReplyDeleteI know how you feel about the time issue. When I finished my second marathon 4 minutes slower than my first (and still over 5 hours) I broke into tears. I'm still coming to accept that my fast is fast for me, my time is the best I could do on that day, and I run for me not someone else. There are many days when that is hard to accept.
My husband has a tendency to stuff his foot in his mouth. Usually he'll say something before thinking - he should know after 12 years that I'm sensitive. Sheesh! Generally if he sees that I'm upset he'll get it and apologize. And I'll make fun of him to get him back. :)
Hugs. I'm sorry that you cried at work and you know what? You CAN take some time and feel bad about it if you want to. Allow yourself to mourn a bad race for a bit. Give it a 1 week or 2 weeks tops.
ReplyDeleteBut then get inspired and get back into it. 5ks and 10k are fantastic and remember that longer distances doesn't make anyone better than others.
You are a runner and a good one at that. Don't let one bad race make you forget that.
I'm so sorry. My heart just sunk for you! I so know how comments can make you feel. Just had someone ask me if they could get a big butt if they started running - all while looking at my rear. Thanks. I was thinking about Mel's post and Ginny's post about respecting the distance just last night and you know what I was thinking? That no matter what the clock says at the end of the race/run that the person crossing the line just went the distance... an amazing accomplishment no matter the distance! I was thinking about the fact that I was so sad for the people coming in at 3+ hours at the last half I did because there was no one there to cheer for them. It made me want to stick around until every last person had crossed the finish line. It is an accomplishment and we are all unique. For the majority of us, we aren't competing with others. We do this for ourselves. Congratulations on finishing - many won't ever do that!
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