Thursday, July 15, 2010

Depressed Thursday....

Today is not a good day. Yesterday was actually worse. Yesterday was one of those Murphy's law is spiting me days. I have been frustrated as it is with the job search and waiting on hearing back for the one job I interviewed with. I also have been facing problems with voting on the contest I am a finalist in (vote for me! Pamela B - link posted in blog below!).

So the buildup of these things has been pressing on me, and running has been my sole solace. I did some hills yesterday, equating to a short and sweet workout that pushed me. I felt better when it was done, but still had that feeling of dread like my bad day wasn't fixed. So it wasn't that surprising when later my computer decided to be suddenly overrun by viruses, which my husband had a hissy at me for (why?) and then I waited for almost two hours for him to "fix" it. I got back on the computer to find it wasn't fixed, but it allowed me to use it long enough to get a very short email from the only job prospect I had saying "thanks, but no thanks" to hiring me.

I was going to go swim it off in our community pool which was oddly empty, but found that my swimsuit was worn out so bad you could see my butt crack through it. I compromised and went to go dip my legs in, and found the pool now seething with kids, who weren't even from my neighbourhood!


Why can't I get a break? Better yet, why can't I get a job? I have a great work history, credentials and skills, and yet the simplest retail or food services jobs aren't even calling me back. I can't help but feel that my inability to get something is a reflection of people's opinions on me personally. And it hurts.

Running is honestly the only thing that is keeping me sane and allowing me to believe I have ability to push through and meet my goals. I can easily listen to the little voice in my head telling me to keep going when I am doing a long run on my own, but for this job search is like a marathon I am not prepared for.

What do you do when you are fighting a battle and don't think you can keep going?

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