Banishing the negatives

So lately, I have been desperately trying to banish the blues, to break clear of the lazies and refocus my energy on upcoming events. It has been some stressful times, and will continue to be in the near future. The weather has been crappy, I am trying to plan the purchase of a home for us and an international trip in the fall, in addition to managing the finances to fund these expeditions, manage my husband's vast expectations on what we can afford, and manage to pay all the monthly occurrences that come up, which I am having problems juggling. I have just felt with the blah weather and so many financial stresses on the horizon, that my body is telling me to take a break and rest.



Does this rest mode help me? NO! I need to fight the inner lazy person, and remember all the benefits that exercize brings. This is why I went out for a glorious little run on the weekend, when the sun was shining bright and the weather was a balmy 20+ degrees. I took the time to mentor a neighbourhood girl who is 14 and wants to get into running on a regular basis. It was amazing to see her enthusiasm and just how much knowledge I have gained over the years with respect to running. This was evident when this girl, we'll call her A, showed up at my house in a cotton T-shirt, converse shoes, no water, no clue. I quickly fixed her up in my shoes, made her change her shirt and pants, got her a water bottle and some sunglasses, and got her set to go.

We set out on a route that took us about 3.75km, with a lot of walk breaks. It felt great to get out there and not focus on pace or time, just running when A wanted to and stopping when she needed a break. I will be starting her on a C25K program to do on her own, and will run with her at least once a week on the weekends to keep her company and motivated.

This run has reinvigorated my spirit a bit, and got me focused on my races that are fast approaching. I haven't yet signed up for my second half, but I think I will once I am back running 3 times a week. I know I can do it, I just have to get my mind out of the funk it is currently in, and back focused on a goal. Sometimes it just takes the push or encouragement of a family member, friend, mentee or stranger to get you refocused.

Who motivates you?

Life could be worse.....

So my caveat to this post is that I am trying to make light of a bad situation. Not meaning to upset anyone or be insensitive. Just want that out there.

So after being sick as a dog for a full week, I caved and got some antibiotics. I still felt so awful, I tried to go into work and prep for my trial that was supposed to go on, but was told by my boss that I shouldn't do it if I wasn't 100% mentally there. So hesitantly, I adjourned it. Luckily, everyone understood. Fast forward, I got back to work the day after the trial would have been and work on catching up, with the stress of this trial gone for now.

Come the next Monday, I was still a bit tired and weak, but much better. One of the admins in my office asks me: "do you have a client who is an ex-cop?" Why yes, yes I do. "Is his name Joe Smith?" Yes, now wondering what is going on. Then I get the news: my client.... passed away. Four days after his trial was scheduled, he suddenly died. So now I am left with an understandably grieving wife, a client who is no longer with us, and a trial that may or may not still go forward. Believe it or not, a trial doesn't just go away because you die. It's not that simple, and apparently, it is also not that common an occurrence. No one seems to know how this will play out, so I am just trying to figure it out so my client's wife doesn't have to deal with it.

Despte the fact that this news threw me for a loop on the business side, it also made me think of the unpredictability of everything. I spoke with these clients 6 days prior, and everything was fine and normal. Less than one week later, their lives had been changed. It reminds me why I run, why I try to eat well, and why I try to promote this healthy behaviour to all my loved ones. Despite the fact that so many people have said it before me, you never know how long you have, so you should live life to the fullest, and make sure you take care of yourself so you can be around as long as possible. It is a fine balance between indulging and enjoying life and taking care to be healthy, but it can be done.

Ok, that is the extent of my life lesson, my words of wisdom. What do you do in order to enjoy life in moderation? Do you run for wine or chocolate? Or do you have a specific "cheat" day? Is running something you do because you "have" to, or do you see it as one of your indulgences and a source of enjoyment in your life?

To come this week: An actual post about running since it is finally warming up around here! We got up to about 15 degrees celcius or so this weekend, and I am gearing up to run outside on a regular basis, in addition to in the gym. I know, I am a wuss, but at least I can admit it!

Six Months Ago Today...

Six months ago today, I started my real journey as a lawyer. I started my job here at my law firm, optimistic and yet tired, hopeful I would find my place. I have definitely found my place among the staff, and the drive has gotten better, and a bit faster over time with a new route learned. I still frequently spend close to 12 hours a day outside of the home, but it is getting better.


The law stuff, that stuff is not so quick to learn. I was hired on to do a specific type of law, and I am learning every day that I like it less than I thought. I still love the workplace, but I want to focus on other types of law. I don't know how to tell my boss this. I am still finding my footing, gaining endurance, getting my stride and becoming more confident in what I do. Kind of like running. Here's hoping I find my pace, and finally get to a place where I am comfortable with how much I am doing, and I know I can do it.


Despite the fact that I haven't ran much this winter, I am comfortable with the idea that I can do another half marathon. It doesn't scare me like last year, and I hope to train better mentally to make it a more enjoyable experience this year. I am slowly building my time on the treadmill, rather than in the pool or in some of the classes my gym offers, and hopefully the running endurance will bounce right back.


I have missed my signup deadline for a race in May, so I think my first one of the year will be late June/early July. I should get 5 or so official races this year, which to most people sounds so low, but is definitely a step up from my 1-2 that I have done over the past three years as a runner. I like to focus, to obsess over these things for weeks! Now's the time for me to get registering, to get my plans in line for the next few months. Here's to another great six months until it is time for my big Europe trip!

Blah....

I'm sick. Somehow I managed to make it through the winter, the blistery wind and the freezing cold, only to find the weather improving, the snow melting, and myself sick. I got a really great swim in on Tuesday, had a good day Wednesday at work, and then BAM, woke up on Thursday sick. I'm weak, shaky, sore body, sore throat, everything. Came home from work early with a file in case I didn't go in today, and curled up on the couch. Actually, I came in and made a double batch of pea soup, my newest obsessions, and some of these:

My PB&J larabar-balls. The recipe I followed tastes good, but I think the ratio of nuts to squishy stuff was off, so I will play with it in the future.

Then I tried to curl up on the couch, but with the hubby and Munckin at home, somehow everyone still expected me to make supper, eat with them, clean off the table, run the dishwasher, and do most of the general house tasks. My husband even dared to make a loud sigh that he had to make the Munckin's lunch. Boo hoo.

I skipped my workout last night and crashed out early, hoping I would feel good enough to go to work today. That failed, and I have found myself at home today as well, curled up in my Papasan chair with a blanket, trying to get my body healed.

My first real trial, one that I will actually have go forward and not settle at the courtroom door is on Tuesday, and I can say, I am not excited for it on several fronts. It's not the best file, and my clients have unrealistic expectations. I don't expect to win; my clients will have to pay out money, but if I can get through the trial without them trying to blame me for the failure of their case, I'll consider it a success. I just hope I feel better by the time I have to launch into my opening arguments in court.

Any home remedies on how to get healthy?

Springtime Snow?

This weekend was gloriously beautiful in Ottawa, the sun was out, it was about 7 degrees celcius and my friend managed to convince me it was warm enough to get my wussy ass outside for a change. We suited up in the most interesting attire, me with my pink Ryder glasses (awesome piece of running gear, LOVE them), my electric blue mittens, and a bright orange running room jacket my friend provided me because I literally don't have any winter, or fall, or spring running gear. I looked like rainbow brite threw up on me, and sadly, I was proud of it. No one was going to miss seeing me if I fell on my face on the ice!

The run actually went really well, almost 5k outside and only needed to slow down twice for some serious ice patches. No clue on the time, but it got done. I actually enjoyed being outside, and thought that my transition from gym running to outside running might be in the works for the season. That is, until I got up this morning to see this, on the first day of spring:

Within hours, it is back to the miserable, cold Ottawa I know and hate all winter. Why won't it go away?? I know it will get better from here on out, but I just want the winter blahs to be gone. On a positive note, since I have been focusing on my weight, I have lost a whopping 6 pounds! That's huge considering I am only 5'4" when I stand really tall, and only had about 10-15 to lose. Here's hoping I can continue the momentum I have gained so far.

I have found a great, if odd new replacement for sugar. As I have stated before, I am a sugar addict, it is my #1 weakness, but I have just recently ventured to try nature's best sugar source:

DATES!!!

I am thinking about making my own power/energy/lara bars this weekend, and will report back the success (or lack thereof) later. For now, I will leave you with a link to the best slow cooker pea and ham soup I made this weekend. Just a caution, cook less than the time listed, or add more liquid, because this soup is more a puree than thin, and I had it come out of my lunch container into a bowl in one blob (shaped in the edge of my container) today. But it is tasty!

Anyone have a good larabar recipe that does not include pecans, walnuts or cashews? Please share!

10 Ways I Break the Rules

Inspired from today's post over at SUAR I thought I would come up with my 10 ways I break the rules. To make it challenging, I am not going to use any of the ones already mentioned like speeding (which I think most of us are guilty of), saying things to our kids and then doing them, etc.

So, here's my original list:

1. I almost always check my personal email/blogs etc at work. Not always outside of regular working time. Sometimes you just need a break to clear the mind!

2. I get wickedly dry lips in the winter, and I peel off the dry skin. It drives me nuts when my lips are rough. I know if I didn't pick, they'd go away fast, but I can't help it.

3. I rarely ever clean off my makeup before going to bed. Waking up with raccoon eyes is not uncommon.

4. I am guilty of being possessive about my own things (especially food I have bought for myself) and then sneaking bites of the things my husband and step-daughter by for themselves.

5. I am a seasonal runner at best. Winter + running don't generally combine in my head, and I let myself slide in the winter. Most runners, especially those with further distances under their belt, don't do that. Makes me feel a bit ashamed some days, and contributes to my "I must not be a REAL runner" feeling.

6. I reuse my gym clothes sometimes when I feel lazy -throw it in the dryer, hope I don't smell too much the next gym day.

7. Don't know if it is a rule, but people often think it is strange that I sleep with socks on, and wear socks all year round, unless I have to wear heels that they show.

8. I forget birthdays and special occasions a lot. Usually I catch myself like the day of and scramble to put something together.

9. I don't budget per se. I look at my expenses coming out and income going in every two weeks or so to know how much will be in my bank account in a given time frame, and spend accordingly. This method has worked very well for me over the years. If I was to follow a normal suggested budget, it wouldn't work for me because my car expenses (mandatory for the job) exceed the cost of my rent every month... :S

10. My general eating habits are awful! I can't keep track, I overeat and under eat some days, I don't get enough grains or protein, I love sugar and junk food, and I have little to no self control. The only reason I stay somewhat healthy is the exercise (5 times this week! Score!) and the tracking I remember to do during the day.

It was so hard to think of things not already mentioned by SUAR and the commenters on her post - can anyone think of new things to admit to? The only other one I have in my mind is leaving a job and taking some office supplies with me. But I wouldn't do that.... I'm a lawyer.... :P

What are the ways you break the rules?

Monday Miscellaneous...

I know, I know, I'm posting this on Sunday so it's not Monday yet, but considering the way my weeks have been going at work, this is the best time to write this so you all can read it on Monday. The time change is already killing me, and I am sure it will only go downhill this week.

Yesterday, I woke up bright and early to get to the gym with my constant companion Tina. We are constantly going to the gym and getting a swim in, but we decided to try and double up due to a missed workout on Thursday and hop of the treadmill for a half hour or so before getting a swim in. I'm still slowly easing into more workouts as the weather gets better and the days get longer, so this was a good effort on our part.

So we get up all bleary eyed and get changed before I realize that I have managed to leave my shoes at home. Not wanting to go back home, we contemplated the options. Skip the treadmill, wear my winter boots, or hop on the treadmill in sock or bare feet, and see if anyone noticed. I try to be as considerate as possible for others, but at the same time, it was going to kill me to not get on the treadmill after putting all that effort in to get to the gym.

So I walked out of the change room in my socks, and hopped on a treadmill. Did 30 minutes of walking on a 4% incline and some tentative running in shoeless feet. It was definitely an interesting experience - I know there are a group of runners out there that do barefoot running, but I would never consider it actively due to the risk of stepping on something and hurting myself. Running on a safe surface, you really notice the difference in how your feet strike the ground, and it was enlightening. Not a single person noticed that I did not have shoes on - or no one said anything to me or pointed and stared. Score one for me!

So I've got four workouts planned this week which should help me make it through the tough times at work. I love work, but I have a few big matters moving forward soon which are stressful and time consuming. One is my first true trial, which I already know will end with my clients paying out money. The question is how much will they have to pay, and will I avoid getting sued or reported to the law society by them. Not my favourite clients.

To cheer me up and give me some energy, I am trying hot yoga at my gym Monday night. It is costly at my gym (boo for it not being included in the membership!), but I have done it before, and I always walk out feeling both refreshed and exhausted all at the same time. It is yoga, but sweatier, and I am a sweat loving kind of girl.... ;)

Then class on Tuesday, swim or run on Thursday, and maybe another mini-brick workout on Saturday morning. Here's hoping all the exercise will counteract the crap I have been eating lately. Cookies, doughnuts, cake, all need to be banned if I want to get that dreaded extra weight off. I try not to make this a weight loss blog, but darn it, it is hard to say no to the sugar! I finally received my dress for my best friend's wedding:

and I need to look good in it! I had been lusting over this dress for ages, and I happened to see one in stock, only one, and only in my size a few weeks ago and snatched it up. I think I may have ordered the absolute last one, as it has now been taken down from the only website I could find it on. Scores for me!

What do you do to avoid the sugar cravings? How do you say no to the cookies and sweets in the office and at home (other than tossing them)?